HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD - SOLUTION - TYPED BY VAXALON - 1994
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 If you're trying to make the letters at the bottom of the screen light up,
then what you need to do is...

 Go to the coat in the hall, get the pen and stab someone with it.
 Cover somebody in either toothpaste, washing up liquid, shaving foam, paint,
oil, itching powder or sneezing powder.
 Put icecubes in someones undies.
 Tie someone up with hose.
 Spray a man with perfume.
 Put a plant pot on somebodys head (but not yours).
 Put a pillowcase on somebodys head (again, not yours).
 Spill wine down someone's neck.
 Squash a potato on a mans head.

 Or if your drunk, you'll get your letters lit up if you....

 Take the Tyre and put it over someone's head.
 Shock someone with a battery charger.
 Put worms down a girls neck.
 Put a bucket over someone's head.
 Put soapsuds down someones someones neck.
 Cut girls hair with shears.

 For extra points......

 Make stink bombs from the chemistry set.
 Squash the soap.
 Set the dogs mess on the ground.
 Set the spider on the ground.
 Pretend to be a ghost with sheet and talc.
 Set fire to or smash all the furniture.
 Put the 3d specs on.
 Read the comedy book.
 Eat the furry pet.
 Drink some of the 'Monster get pissed quick' lager.
 Play the piano.
 Throw the brick.
 Throw the dart at the wall.
 Throw or smash the umbrella.
 Get drunk on stock of booze.
 Squeeze your zits.
 Eat the Curry.
 Throw the chicken and the pizza.
 Break the toothbrush.

 If you've had a bit too much of the strong stuff and need sobering up....

 Drink some black coffee.
 Drink the medicine in the bathroom cabinet.

 DO NOT....

 Eat any cigarettes, coleslaw, burgers, sausages or crisps.
 Fart in the kitchen.
 Drink the weed killer.
 Eat any pills.
 Kill someone with chainsaw or razorblade.
 Open umbrella inside (you'll turn into an oven?)
 Reset the computer.